Sharia law and tweens getting married

To me, the most astounding part of this story about a mother trying to arrange an annulment for her eight-year old daughter is the quote from the grand mufti of Saudi Arabia: "A girl aged 10 or 12 can be married. Those who think she's too young are wrong and they are being unfair to her." I would hate to knock someone for having crazy, paternalistic, misogynistic, pedophiliac views when they are based on religious doctrine. Oh right, no I wouldn't mind at all. Wingnut!

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Keith Olbermann Defends Gay Marriage - and brings tears to this blogger's eyes

More straight men should stand up for gay marriage rights the way MSNBC commentator Keith Olbermann did last night.

Your tax dollars promoting "absitence until marriage"

This just in from Feminist Daily News Wire:

"Healthy Marriage" Funds Improperly Used to Promote Abstinence

A report issued on October 27 by the Government Accountability Office (GAO) found that some recipients of grants from the Healthy Marriage and Responsible Fatherhood Initiative—run by the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS)—have used the funds impermissibly for abstinence-only education.

"HHS officials told us that abstinence education was not allowable under the Healthy Marriage program," reads the report, "but we observed during our site visits and review of grantee data several Healthy Marriage grantees operating programs that focused on abstinence education."

The study, which was requested by Rep. Jim McDermott (D-Wash.), also found that HHS—operating under a shortened deadline process—"did not fully examine grantee's programs as described in their applications."

Both programs are designed to serve low-income and minority groups. The Healthy Marriage programs, targeting teenaged youth primarily, are supposed to promote marriage and relationship activities; the Responsible Fatherhood programs, targeted at incarcerated parents, are designed to provide parenting skills. The Deficit Reduction Act of 2005 appropriated $150 million in grants each year from 2006 through 2010 to implement the Initiative. But it diverted funds from programs designed to support those living in poverty, such as Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF), to programs promoting marriage.

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Massachusetts leading the way

I'd like to take the opportunity to give a shout-out to my home state of Massachusetts. Was proud to hear that the State legislature repealed a century old law that prohibited non-residents from getting married in the State. This opens the door for lesbian and gay couples from other states to be married in the Bay State, where same-sex marriage is no longer illegal. The Catholic Church, naturally, opposed the measure. Like anyone should be looking to the Massachusetts Diocese for guidance on morality.

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Marriage Equality!

I've got to shamelessly gush here. The state of California has pushed the nation one step further in marriage equality for all, which is to say full citizenship for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. This is a huge step! I was particularly excited to see Jewelle Gomez and Dianne Sabin in this NY Times photo (that's them on the right, about to kiss.) We met them when we lived in SF, and they are the warmest, most wonderful women. Jewelle is a writer and Dianne is a chiropractor. They were plaintiffs in the case.

What the California ruling means for Wyoming is that we will likely see another bill proposed that would bar the state of Wyoming from recognizing same-sex marriages performed in other states (there was one like this last year). To enshrine such a measure in the state Constitution is overkill to say the least because if Z and I got married in Calif., our rights & benefits already don't travel across state lines. Also look for a state ban on same-sex marriage altogether.

For a run-down on Wyoming's laws regarding LGBT people, check out Human Rights Campaign's excellent website. The Equality State is not at the bottom of the barrel -- the sodomy law was repealed in 1977, same-sex partners can establish power of attorney to make medical decisions for one another -- but amazingly the state still doesn't have a hate crimes law, it's still legal to discriminate against us, and LGBT students are not protected from bullying and harassment.

But all that bad news aside, I'm focused on the great victory in California! I'm so excited I can barely sit still. I want to tell everyone I see! I want to buy a tuxedo and rush to San Francisco with my sweetie on my arm. Femmes look great in tuxes, you know.

What's in a name?

I asked my friend C to write a guest post after I read this article about a California couple who sued the state so that the husband could take the wife's last name without extra fees. C's husband took her last name, with much less fanfare, in Hawaii 10 yrs ago. Here is her story:

It it with sorrow and surprise that I recently read about a California couple's struggle with trying to change their last names to the wife's last name rather than the husband's. I say this, because my husband took my last name with no legal difficulties when we married ten years ago in HI. This option was known to us only 48 hours prior to the ceremony, after we obtained and read our license and realized we would not have hyphenate. Had we known earlier, we would have created an entirely new last name as that was also an option, but one we could not invent in a mere 48hrs.

Many people have assumed my spouse is a feminist...he is not, not by a long shot. But, we did want to share a last name as that is one of the things that defined us as a new family (we are not fond of wedding bands), and would also facilitate international travel to places where unmarried couples can not sleep together (another unfortunate issue altogether). Ultimately, pragmatism led us to settle on my name as I would have had many more documents to change than my husband, who led a fairly uncomplicated life at the time of our wedding.

Little did we know that our families would read much more into our rather casual decision. My husband's friends were all a bit surprised, and while none really said so out loud, I am certain that they assumed that I had him in shackles....after all, taking a woman's last name carries with it a negative stigma of weakness and the like.

I have occasionally sensed that my husband felt some regret about his decision. He never missed his last name, rather, he has found it odd having to always explain why he has a name that clearly sounds like it is from the same country as his wife originally came from.

It is my sincere hope that some day, all states, and nations will allow lovers to keep, or change their names, including the creation of new ones at the time that they decide to create and distinct family. Ironically, neither one of us exists in my native country, in spite of passports bearing our names, as they do not recognize such name changes, even when they are official in the U.S.!
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